Over the years it’s gotten me into trouble more than once but I stubbornly refused to let it go. I kept swearing that the way a few people acted would not change who I was and I saw my ability to see the good in people as a part of who I was.
The older I get the more I realize that this is not realistic, it’s not good for me, and I may need to rethink my personal views of people and the world in general.
I cannot continue to see only the good and completely ignore what is right in front of my eyes in order to hang on to hope for a person who may not be capable of being who my mind’s eye wants to see.
They say with age comes wisdom. Over the years I have learned many lessons. Some I accepted readily, others I fought kicking and screaming. This one has always been one of my hardest struggles. Somehow letting go of this belief that each person I meet will somehow magically be kind and trustworthy is very difficult to let go of, even though I realize the dangers of this belief.
I have learned to be more careful with my words and with whom I share my thoughts and feelings. I have learned to be more careful in my conversations. But somewhere in my heart I still hold hope that those I choose to converse with will be trustworthy, kind, compassionate, open-minded, and who knows what else.
Of course the reality I am coming to accept is that those people are truly unique in this world. They are the few rather than the many. And though I still believe that every person is capable of these things and everyone has it in them, for some it is DEEP within.
I guess in the grand scheme of things I simply need to remember to accept people for who they ARE, not who I hope or believe them to be. This doesn’t change my appreciation of them. In a way it deepens my appreciation of them because I am seeing THEM, not my idealized version of them.