Loss of a Child

She’d Be 22

ashgoodToday is my daughter Ashley’s birthday. We don’t get to celebrate like most familys do because she is now a little angel in heaven. We write her notes on balloons and send these special little cards up into the air for her to catch.

Some years are just harder than others. She’s been gone for 14 years now, but this has been one of those really difficult years. We have struggled this whole week with emotional outbursts, bouts of crying, and even anger.

We talk about wondering if we’d still be as close to her as we were when she was 8. We wonder if she’d be in college, engaged, a mother, married, and a myriad of other things we will never know.

Today has been extremely difficult, but we sent her up her special balloon cards and are still working our way to get through this day and probably this week.

Most people simply do not understand that losing a child is like no other grief. It’s not something you just “pick yourself up” from, the way someone said to my husband today. It’s not just something you get over. It stays with you and those special days can be incredibly difficult and sometimes darn near impossible.

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About Tracy Seekins

Long time writer/blogger. Has been on a lifelong journey for self enrichment. This is a journey which never ends and I look forward to sharing it with you.

Discussion

3 thoughts on “She’d Be 22

  1. It’s only with someone who’s lost a child that I can say it’s a grief like no other. I appreciate others’ concern and caring; but no one understands this devastation like we do. Philip died a little over two years ago – I’m still shocked. I try not to think about time going by, I try to abide this a moment at a time. But everything hurts and I’m so terribly sad.

    Yes, Ashley’s an angel, and she’s watching over you, like Philip’s watching over me. But that’s cold comfort sometimes; I want him here. And I know you know what I mean.

    Wishing you and your husband whatever peace you can find.

    Posted by Denise | April 2, 2014, 12:51 am
  2. We lost our 20 year old daughter last May. Life will never be the same. Wishing you peace whenever possible.

    Posted by miragreen | April 2, 2014, 2:32 am
  3. It is like no other human experience. I grieve for you, and all the parents of lost children. Our loss is unfathomable, unquenchable, and at times, unbearable. We live each day, each moment, one by one. I am truly sorry for the loss of your Ashley. I wish you peace.

    Posted by edcol52 | April 4, 2014, 1:34 am

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