Today is my daughter Ashley’s birthday. We don’t get to celebrate like most familys do because she is now a little angel in heaven. We write her notes on balloons and send these special little cards up into the air for her to catch.
Some years are just harder than others. She’s been gone for 14 years now, but this has been one of those really difficult years. We have struggled this whole week with emotional outbursts, bouts of crying, and even anger.
We talk about wondering if we’d still be as close to her as we were when she was 8. We wonder if she’d be in college, engaged, a mother, married, and a myriad of other things we will never know.
Today has been extremely difficult, but we sent her up her special balloon cards and are still working our way to get through this day and probably this week.
Most people simply do not understand that losing a child is like no other grief. It’s not something you just “pick yourself up” from, the way someone said to my husband today. It’s not just something you get over. It stays with you and those special days can be incredibly difficult and sometimes darn near impossible.